"In the grand scheme of things," she used to say,
"it really isn't going to make much of a difference."
By which, of course, she meant that she just
didn't give a shit about my problems,
but you can't come right out and say that.
It makes you seem ill-mannered and self-centered
and a bit of an idiot, so she narrowed her eyes
meaningfully, cocked her head, said what
she said, and stared at me so as to suggest
that she was wise, and I was not.
And I agree, yes, that in the grand scheme of things,
it doesn't make a bit of difference, but if we're
going to take the long view of things, nothing means
anything. In one thousand years, I will just be beginning
to be dead. Eventually, the world is going to be sucked
into an enormous black hole, and that will just be
the start of eternity, and in the grand scheme of things,
nothing really ever matters, but since I'm here now,
and this is my life, I think I'll pay attention to all those niggling
things that never seemed to make a bit of difference to her.